worship wednesday: spiritual idling

08 Wednesday May 2013

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I could also title this post “spiritual holding pattern” because that’s where I feel like I am right now. There’s a lot of waiting going on. There’s a lot of waiting going on in a lot of different areas of life. We (as in my lover and I) are waiting to see what God does with the next season in our lives as our time in school draws to a close. Waiting to see when (if ever) God decides to bless us with a child. I feel that my own personal relationship with the Lord is holding steady, but not growing in leaps and bounds. Like I’m waiting for some epiphany. Or for God to reveal some sin in my life so we can move forward. Perhaps I might have an experience like Moses and see the glory of the Lord.

I’m not holding my breath on that last one. But you get my point.

And so, I cling to Scripture and I wait. I wish I had some great spiritual insight for you, but I’m waiting for that myself. Today I’ll simply share with you some things straight out of the Bible that help with waiting.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
And in His word I do hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
More than those who watch for the morning—
Yes, more than those who watch for the morning. Psalm 130:5&6

My favorite part of these words is the second line, in which the psalmist says “and in His word I do hope.” Y’all, God’s Word is full to overflowing with the promises of God. In His Word we really do have hope. Why would we not put all of our trust in the hope of the Lord’s Word? This, friends, is totally where I am. Just clinging to verses like these as I myself wait for the Lord?

In fact, the psalmist here is exhorting his hearers to wait,

Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord! Psalm 27:14

Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. Psalm 25:4-5

These are steadily becoming some of my favorite verses right now. I hope they encourage you too.

-E

a thank-you from a homeschooler

25 Thursday Apr 2013

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This post is really for my mother, but it’s also directed toward all those homeschool moms who are having a bad day. Don’t be discouraged, this is the thank-you that you so much deserve.

I consider myself a home-school success story.

My parents made the decision to home-school myself and my three siblings from kindergarten all the way through highschool. My entire education was undertaken by my parents. Wholly. My mother gave up anything that resembles a career working outside the home to instill in her four children a Christian worldview while educating all of us. Many people are surprised when they find out I’m a home-schooler. But I am. To the core. With everything but the socks and horn-rimmed glasses.

Most people are surprised because I have friends. In fact, I can even be outgoing when I choose. It’s true, I do prefer spending a quiet evening at home working on a project or reading a book (the kind with chapters in it *wink wink*) but I can attend a party without turning into a wallflower. I got married. He’s a stud. I like to wear pencil skirts, high heels, I know how to apply mascara. I went to college. Graduated at 19. With honors. Sure, I’m not the CEO of some multi-million dollar company, but that’s because I chose to support my husband as he got his Master’s degree. I work full-time, pay my taxes, and generally act as a contributing member of society. I don’t want a career in some skyscraper building downtown. I want to have babies and home-school those babies. I want to instill in my children a Christian worldview while educating all of them. I want to be just like my mother when I grow up.

That hasn’t necessarily always been the case. I remember butting heads with my mom so many times. It’s unbelievable she never whacked me over the head with a shovel and buried my body in the woods somewhere. It’s most certainly what I deserved. I smarted off to her whenever I got the chance. Especially during those teenage years. I was a rascal. But my mom was always a faithful and patient teacher. Working with me slowly and gently through hours of math. In college, I ended up with an A in every math or science class I took. Those hours paid off. Like an adolescent with the obligatory attitude problem, I also gave my mom grief over literature. I didn’t want to write another stinking paper. Don’t even get me started on poetry. I skimmed that junk. My mom however asked those probing questions and caught me in the act of skimming every time. You can’t do that in a classroom of twenty kids. There’s no way to confront each kid individually and figure out they used the Cliff’s Notes version of a literary masterpiece to finish their homework. My mom could, and did.

I say all of this as a thank-you. A thank-you to my mom. And to all the home-school moms out there. Thank you for giving up the high-powered job to be locked in the house all day long. Thank you for giving up the adorable skirt suit for an art smock. Thank you for leaving your pride behind when your daughter is having a math-induced meltdown. Thank you for having grace when someone says “oh, you’re just a stay-at-home mom.” There is no “just” about. You’ve taken on the most trying job in the world, and you’re doing great. We may not tell you this while you’re requiring us to read Hamlet and memorize the periodic chart, but we are so incredibly thankful. For all that you do.

Mom, you’re the best. I appreciate that now. I’m sorry for all the threats of running away, accusations of you ruining my life, and arguments that public school is way cooler. I realize now that I was spoiled. I received the best education I could ever ask for. Thank you mom for your sacrifice. I appreciate learning to teach myself. I love that you let me sleep in, so my body would develop and grow. For looking the other way while I stayed up way too late trying to finish another chapter of Pride & Prejudice. Thank you for trying to correct my handwriting. Thank for not leaving me on the street corner waiting for the bus. Thank you for the field trips, the science experiments, and days spent reading on the couch. You’ve made me a home-school success story.

And someday, I hope to be just like you. Parenting my own home-school success story.

Thank you.

-E

how to eat your way through a day off

23 Tuesday Apr 2013

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***WARNING***

***WARNING***

The following post includes cat pajamas. MY cat pajamas. You’ve been warned.

Y’all, I have the best friends. The proof is right here in this post. If you can be seen with me in public in my cat pajamas then you deserve to be given friend-of-the-year award. Toss in the fact that I wore no (ZERO) make-up, rolled out of bed 10 minutes before we left so I’d have time to brush my teeth, and gathered the troops together for photographic evidence and you’ll have the picture of this year’s Good Friday celebrations.

To all of those deeply spiritual types who fasted on Good Friday my hat is off to you. Just don’t look at my hair, it’s part of my cat-pajama look. My approach to Easter this year has been different. More celebratory. Maybe I’ll go deep next year. Maybe my lover will burn these pajamas. You never know.

This post is going nowhere fast.

Ehem, in an attempt to reel in this wordfest let me tell you about this plan. I absolutely l.o.v.e. “yes” people. You know what I’m talking about, the kind of people who are up for anything. I feel that I am this type of person and, well, birds of a feather, right? So anyways, my lover and I have these friends who are just those type of people. So when I said “hey, let’s go to breakfast in our pajamas” they were all like “sure, sounds good.” Actually I think us gals were like that. The guys married us. And so this happened:

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CAT PAJAMAS!!!!!!!!!!

Meee-owww. (Pun totally intended)

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Lover’s p.j.s were a little more fierce than mine. A little.

We went to a land flowing with coffee and crepes. Cafe Brazil is a fun & funky local dining place with the best crepes EVER. Need proof? BOOM:

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I dare you not to salivate right now. Four crepes, stuffed with all kinds of citrus-y and sweet fruits, smothered in sauces, and then heavily dusted with powdered sugar. The bomb.com, for rizzle. And of course, there was coffee.

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Cafe Brazil offers a bottomless coffee bar with lots of flavor options. It was lover’s first experience there, I just had to capture him deciding which delicious option to try first.

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I had like 3 cups. And then took a cup to go. It was the most enjoyable bad idea I’ve ever had. For a girl who labels herself a “social drinker” when it comes to coffee I consumed way too much caffeine. It felt like a million fairies doing military drills inside my veins for the rest of the day. Turns out that much caffeine is uncomfortable.

Next, go home. Take a nap. Clean your house. Get ready for dinner.

OH. MY. WORD.

Dinner.

My lover has been learning to grill lately. We got a charcoal grill for Christmas via a gift card that my sweet mother in law gave us. I would like to be mature and tell you I love charcoal for the wonderful flavor and authentic grilling taste it gives food, but the truth is I like to roast marshmallows when the coals are first lit on fire. Which of course we did. Who wouldn’t?

We’ve made some chicken on this new grill and it’s been good. But friends, this steak. I can’t, I just, I need a minute. Maybe five minutes. These steaks were so good. Lover called a friend who is the definition of a foody. Those people are good to know. In my mind, they are the people who make the world go ’round. So on top of steaks we put together a relative feast including corn, potatoes, bread, and dessert. We ladies even set the table. And then, we ate. And ate. And ate.

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And that, my friends, is how you eat your way through a day off. Not bad, eh?

Now it’s time for a little poll. How do you pronounce those things you sleep in? Are they pa-JOM-as or are they pa-JAM-as? I’m pretty sure mine are paJAMas. The hubster wears paJOMas. They look pretty much the same to me.

worship wednesday: my desires, His will

17 Wednesday Apr 2013

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 Well hello friends!

There has been much radio silence around this here little bloggy. That’s because I’ve not been my usual let’s-talk-about-nonsense-and-make-fun-of-life self. I’ve been fighting the urge to type out these ranting posts about all my pet peeves and all my worries and all these things that I don’t even want to read about, much less subject you to. This week however I was asked if I’m still doing this blog and I knew right then I needed to get my gluteus maximus in gear and get some things written down. Wednesday seemed just the day to do so.

Here goes.

(Sorry but this might be a toughy. I’ve been convicted.)

Let’s talk about prayer. I’ll go first. My prayer life stinks. I’m super good at remembering to thank God for things throughout the day and even throw up little prayers for patience or peace or whatnot. Not so good at sitting down with Jesus and having that deep, heartfelt, well-hello-there-best-friend-here-is-my-life conversation that I so desperately need and Jesus so desires to have. That time of communion with the Lord has been deeply lacking.

Enter 31 Days of Prayer by Ruth & Warren Meyers, stage left.

Ten days in, this book has already been a life-changer. I’ve been super blessed to have a darling friend who has committed along with me to go through this book. We meet together regularly and talk about all that we have learned, how we’ve changed our behaviors/attitudes in regards to prayer, and just plainly shared burdens with one another. It’s been amazing.

I shared with her, and now I’ll share with the world (because all the world is reading this blog, right?) what I learned on day 7. I have no idea what the title is for that day. All I know is what the Lord taught and is teaching me.

And it all has to do with my desires.

The Bible says this,

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:1-2

I want you to focus in with me on the very first sentence. Paul beseeches believers to present themselves as a living sacrifice. According to Dictionary.com to beseech means to “implore urgently” or to “beg eagerly for.” Some translations use the word urge. This very intense plea I think show the importance of offering oneself up in service to the Lord, as a living sacrifice. An active, living, breathing sacrifice.

How does one become a living sacrifice? By daily, DAILY offering oneself up to Christ. To be used as his servant. Including everything. Talents, physical abilities, resources, your future, your desires.

For me, this word “desires” was becoming a stumbling block. Reading through day 7 in 31 Days of Prayer the thing that jumped at me were my desires. That they were just that. They were my desires. What I wanted. How I wanted my future to look. My deep, sometimes overwhelming desire to be a mother. Those were all mine. Not Christ’s.

The Bible says,

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Matthew 6:33

My desires should be to seek God’s kingdom first. Not to pursue my own desires. What I want. What I feel I need. My desire should be to further advance God’s kingdom. And that desire comes through daily giving up more of myself to Him. My prayer, in those intimate moments with the Lord, is for Him to mold my heart to His own. That He will remove my selfish, earth-driven desires and replace them with His own righteous and holy desires. That I will be more like Him. That I will be less like myself.

I’m giving my desires over to the Lord.

-E