I have a really hard time describing myself. As soon as I say I’m one way, it seems like I’m something completely different. For example, I’d like to say that I’m a free spirit, but then really I’m a planner. Or, I would say that I’m extroverted and love to meet new people, but on the other hand I’m kind of a homebody who loves spending time parked on the couch. It’s hard. Super, duper, that-word-mary-poppins-uses hard. So I thought I would try a different approach.

I’m going to share what I’m not. Seems easier. Although I feel bad for you, reader, because you’re about to be subjected to me talking about myself for the next so many words.

I am not ashamed of my faith. Neither will I hide it. One of the important things I decided when I started this blog was that I would not only be open about what I believe, I would dedicate at least one day a week to talking openly about what God has been putting on my heart.

I am not a perfectionist. In anything. My favorite words are “close enough.” Those two sweet little words are my answer to crafts, cleaning, story-telling, directions, cooking, whatever. Favorite. Words.

I am not a feminist. Not at all. I love being a woman, don’t misunderstand me, but I am not a feminist. I love my role as a woman, being a wife and hopefully someday a mother. I am not out to prove that I can do things better than my husband. I don’t want to suppress all men everywhere so that women can rule the world. I don’t want to be the head of my household. I defer that to my lover. He’s doing a rock star job and I am so happy about that.

I am not a size 2…

…because I am not one to turn down food. Homegirl likes to eat. As I get older my taste buds are changing and I like even more foods. I am an advocate of eating right and taking care of yourself, but starvation is not really my thing. Please pass the chocolate cake. In moderation.

I am not an outdoorsy person. I hate nature. Nature hates me. We’re both content to leave each other alone. Occasionally I do enjoy a good camping trip, but there better be a good air mattress and the first spider I see I’m getting the heck out of dodge. Otherwise nature and I don’t mix too often.

I’m not a tea drinker. Not in the way these southern folk are. I like a hot cup of tea with cream in it, but do not hand me one of those iced tea concoctions. Might as well be lighter fluid for all I’m concerned.

I am not a good housekeeper. I hate to clean so much. The other night for example John begged and pleaded with me to put my clean clothes away. I’ll skip the details but tell you it ended with me lying on the ground flailing. Not pretty. Especially for a grown adult.

I’m not very good at calling. On the phone. Ever. Doesn’t really matter who I’m calling. My best friend, apartment maintainance, customer service, and on and on. I have this phobia, talkonthephonephobia, that is like a death grip when I have to call someone. I panic. There. Now you know my secret. I’ll have my people call your people.

I do not like scary movies. Or war movies. Or “realistic” movies. Or any movies that don’t involve humor. Oh, and I love physical comedy. Like a 13-year-old boy. Does the heroine fall down the stairs in heels? Hilarious! Does the handsome love interest run into a glass door? Can’t stop laughing. So basically, if it’s not a romantic comedy or Lord of the Rings I am not watching it.

I am not a nerd.

I just said that last thing to make myself feel better. I am totally a nerd. I just referenced Lord of the Rings for crying out loud.

I am not edgy. Not in my style, or my hobbies, or my decorating. I like things to be comfortable. Sensible. To be welcoming. We want our home to have somewhat of a modern influence in the decor, but with some softness. So you can come on over and put your feet up.

I am not going to go on forever. I feel like this has been enough for now. Plus I’m getting bored with my own self so I know you checked out paragraphs ago. You may not have even gotten far enough to read this. For you kind friend who is reading this I applaud you and you’re a rock star for sticking with it. You can do anything.