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We (as in, my lover and I) would like to have a lot of babies. We both came from good-sized families, and I would be lying if I said my sister and brothers weren’t some of my favorite people. Lord willing we will be able to raise up a gaggle of young ‘uns ourselves.

So apparently in order to have lots of babies one has to go through lots of pregnancies. Seeing as how I am currently experiencing my first pregnancy I by no means feel qualified to give any advice; however, I would like to remind my future pregnant self of some things I’m enjoying and some things I am learning now, just in case I forget. This could also be a follow-up to my first post about random thoughts on pregnancy which you can read here.

Dear pregnant self,

Sit down, pour yourself a cup of decaf, and let’s talk.

Where should I begin?

Oh yes, with oatmeal. I’m having yet another bowl as I write this. Oatmeal is both your best friend and your worst enemy. It is your best friend because it’s a good way to start the morning, a healthy and neutrally-flavored bowl of warmth, and an integral part of a healthy & hearty breakfast. It becomes your worst enemy when you’re eating it for the fifth month in a row. Daily. But take my advice. Even on those mornings when the pop-tarts your husband toasted smell like a french bakery to you the oatmeal is the better choice. You will be so much happier with yourself.

Since we’re talking food, let’s talk cravings. Sweet future pregnant self, it is just fine to indulge every once in a while. Now, I would not recommend buying a bag of Little Debbie powdered donuts just because you saw a commercial, then eating the entire bag on the hour-long drive home and promptly hiding the empty bag in the bottom of the trash can to hide your shame. Just eat the recommended serving size of 5, maybe one extra (since you are eating for two anyway) and have your husband lock the rest of them in a safe. That way you can spread the thousand calories of Little Debbie goodness over a few days and when you’re done you can throw the empty bag away like a normal person.

Speaking of your husband, that feeling you get of wanting to give him a black eye is just hormones. It will go away. He might forget to bring you something chocolatey and delicious from the store when you ask but he’s really a sweet guy who will do things like arrange all the furniture in the house the way you want it while you are comatose on whatever piece of furniture you were closest to at the time. Trust me on this, whenever you’re on the brink of a complete meltdown he’ll be there to either help bring you back to a calm state or he’ll push you over the edge really quickly so you get it over with. 🙂

Enjoy your second trimester because it’s FABULOUS! I don’t know if you remember, future self, but the second trimester was your best friend. Most days you felt better than when you aren’t pregnant. Just remember that when you can no longer see your feet and the stories about labor and delivery make you wish you were born a man.

Nesting is for real. And keeping the nursery door closed so you can’t see the knee-high pile of a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e. clothes does not help. The urge to make something pretty will overwhelm you.

Oh, and one last thing, future pregnant self. Surround yourself with truly great friends. It helps if one or two of them is also pregnant, and has fun stories of weird cravings that you can relate to, but really just anyone who encourages and prays for you qualifies. They will make you feel less crazy. They will give the really good advice. They will cheer you on when you’re still wearing heels because you just can’t give them up. They will ask you how you’re doing and really care about the answer, but won’t let you wallow in self-pity. I hope you still have friends like this, future self. They are priceless.

Remember, future self, this day. This day when you say the greatest advice you could give an expecting mommy is to enjoy pregnancy. Remember how much you love it when that tiny little life is kicking up a storm. Remember the expectancy. Remember how your lover can’t keep his hands off your belly. Remember, and then go rock pregnancy like it’s nothing.

P.S.- Girl, you better wear that Palmer’s lotion like it’s a life vest and you are getting dropped in the middle of the Pacific. Just a little free advice.